Missing him

I really don't care what any of you think of me for saying this, I miss him. I miss him every single day. I've been doing very well lately, but no matter how great everything in my life is, something is missing, him. My life is finally turning around, looking up, and I've managed to do that all by myself, which is a little scary to me but I'm so proud of myself at the same time. I want to share it with him though. And I KNOW every single BAD thing there is to know about him (even more than he knows I know...) and I still want him in my life. I don't know, however, in what capacity. I feel like I want to start from the beginning again, just be friends. I miss talking to him and hanging out with him. As usual a lot of bad things were said, on both sides and now he won't even speak to me. I don't know why we insist on hurting each other so much.

shacri