Today started off ok enough. I got to sleep in which was nice. Piddled around, watched a couple of movies. Made a commitment to "stop Sean" today like I did when I "quit smoking". The second movie I watched was very painful and ended up making me cry and as I sit here typing this I am still crying.
You see, I still love him and I don't know why. I know that he and I are very bad for each other. We have different morals, values, beliefs, hopes and dreams. We were the most mismatched couple there ever was. Even so, I loved him deeply, with all my heart. I wish only the best for him and that has taken awhile for me to be able to say and really mean. I hope whatever journey he is on turns out the way he wants and that he IS happy. What hurts is it wasn't me that made him happy. He rejected me. He left me. And it hurts so bad I can't even describe the pain.
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